I Bet You Look Good On The Dancefloor, by Arctic Monkeys (7" on Domino)

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Life’s not always that sweet. First there’s that girl you met down the local nighterie. You know, the one who reduced you to a quivering lump of jelly when your eyes met over a snakebite-sodden dancefloor. The one giving you the eye all night and then giving you the cold shoulder the minute she thinks you might be interested. Not that you should worry about her, though. Because even if you (i)did(i) get with her she’d be gone in five minutes when some bigger, older and more loutish bloke swaggered along. Life, as they say, just isn’t always that sweet.


So there’s ‘ I Bet You Look Good On The Dancefloor’, which manages to pack cutting humour (“Your name isn’t Rio, but I don’t care for sand/Lighting the fuse might result in a bang.”), the anthemic frenzy of early Oasis and the odd twisted Shakespeare reference into the grim tale of failing to pull at your local Ritzy. Then there’s ‘Bigger Boys And Stolen Sweethearts’, a rowdier cousin to The Smiths’ ‘I Know It’s Over’ which articulates perfectly the crushing inevitability of losing your teenage girl to a bigger brute. There’s a touch of Johnny Marr in the guitar work, a sprinkle of John Cooper Clarke in the delivery ( “They’ve got engaged/No intention of a wedding/He’s pinched your bird/And he’ll probably kick your head in.”) and a lifetime’s worth of pain and frustration bubbling away underneath. The result? Two of the most gloriously original pop songs you’ll hear in 2005. Sometimes, life really couldn’t be any sweeter.

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